(Excerpt from lecture series on Caitanya Caritamrta, Kartika 2006, Part 2, Lecture 16 – ‘Kalidasa the Nectar Hound I’)
“Nahi krsna bhakti anya aiche haya” – I don’t have any krsna bhakti.
This is usually the mentality, the mood of very advanced devotees. They feel like they have no advancement or no attachment for Krsna. Whereas when someone first joins a spiritual institution and they chant Hare Krsna and they do some service and learn a few slokas, give a class or two and learn how to lead a kirtana, after a month or two they think they are like a pure devotee - especially if they go on the streets and recite a few verses and people say – “Oh! You are so smart. Do you know Sanskrit?” And they may even say “Yes,” if they are really, really puffed up.
But if you are little honest, you say – “No I know learnt a few slokas, I don’t know any Sanskrit. Anyway you know more than I do. You really are smart, really learned.”
So we think, after a month or two, that we are quite advanced. Then we start reading more and we realize what the standard of advancement is. Then we feel rather hopeless. But guru picks us up again and instills hope in us and gives us encouragement. Then with hope against hope and we go forward.